Divorces can often get ugly. You can get blinded in your attempt to hurt your partner that you use every tool at your disposal. This can, unfortunately, include using your children as a way to hurt your ex. Though tempting, this maneuver should absolutely, under no circumstances, be used. You are not just an ex trying to get back at their partner who might have wronged them, you are a parent, and your ex is your child’s father or mother. That fact will never change, which is why you need to follow this guide so that you can successfully, and peacefully, co-parent now and in the future:
Go into the Divorce Proceedings with a Cool Head
Unless there was a very specific prenup, there is a lot to sort through when it comes to a divorce. That is why when you choose your lawyers, you need to choose ones that are experienced in the filed. A great family solicitor should be able to help you two come to an amicable agreement about custody, and fight for you to ensure a fair split of your assets. The calmer you are when you go, the easier you can come to a good agreement in regards to your children.
Start a Good Routine Immediately
Routines are what children need to thrive, and the sooner you start a good routine, the more time they have to settle. Try to keep some aspects of their life the same – let them live in the same house and go to the same school for example. From there, however, it is up to you and your partner. For example, say they sleep over every day on Fridays with your ex. Or perhaps you start going to the park on Sundays. These routines don’t have to always include your partner, but what they should be is time for you and your children to bond. Divorce doesn’t have to mean your family is fractured. If you and your ex work together, you can build a better family dynamic together and be closer with your children than ever before.
Don’t Let Your Personal Feelings Get the Better of You
Sharing in parenting is difficult, but by working together, you can give your children the best life. The only thing you need to remember is to never, ever, insult your ex in front of your children. It doesn’t even matter if something happened and your daughter is upset with your ex. Be diplomatic as possible, because as soon as you try to pit your child against your ex, your co-parenting relationship is doomed, and it is your children who will suffer as a result. Yes, your child can be mad at your ex, but instead of taking it as an opportunity to bad-mouth your ex, help your child work through their anger and rebuild their relationship with you.
Just because your relationship did not work out does not mean that your ex’s relationship with your children also has to turn sour. By following these steps, you can work out your differences as co-parents and build up a new, better family dynamic that suits everyone involved.
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